Indescribable;;

Friday, September 8, 2006: a conviction

i think i learn alot from being in OCF, so much so that its getting even harder to leave this place. (sniff sniff sob sob) but yeah. like today's bs message was pretty strong. we're doing a series on exodus now, and we're on our 2nd last bs session. its been a pretty awesome topic. especially about issues of getting out of your comfort zone, that God is bigger than anything else out there, learning to trust God's long term plan for you . its a pretty amazing conviction. i mean, i've heard the message so many times now, but then i think the impact is greater this round because of what i've experience this past year. its really overwhelming when i come to think about it. for me, coming to perth is like an exodus for me. i feel totally like moses when God spoke to him in the burning bush. i mean, why me? i just want to be myself.

i had to step out of my comfort zone into God's plan for me. and its been a pretty daunting task.. i really hate being in an unfamilar place and starting out with no friends. many a times i feel like i'm alone in this walk, so i'm really glad that God has blessed me with a really good friend to remind me that i'm not alone and he has been there. (and yes, this is you jeannie, and i love you very much). and my journey here doesnt just end. i was still blessed with even more school friends to make school life bearable and a christian support family. my OCF group. (: and when i come to think about it, yes! God has really provided me alot more than my narrow mind can imagine. all these little things that add up that makes me feel really thankful to God, and sometimes i think i dont give God enough credit for it.

yes i know that i have mentioned this many times, but today, the emotions are really pouring out of me and i just have to get this out so bear with me. i feel the need to share it with the world.

anyway. so yes, and now exams are around the corner, and i'm starting to feel really pressured. but today i'm reminded of the fickleness of the israelites faith when they were stuck between the percievably uncrossable red sea and the advancing egyptians (if you think about it its really scary) and how they started to blame God when the going gets tough. in fact, they said that they would rather go back and be slaves! (exd 14:11-12) which is a rather weird thought. but anyways, back to the point. and after they cross the red sea, they revert to singing praises and feared the Lord. i dont want to be fickle in my faith. i dont want to see to believe. i want to learn to have faith. because Jesus said "because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are thouse who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:29 so yes, for my exams, and my results and the uni posting, i will just have faith that God will decide for me what He wants me to do. i'll just study hard and stop worrying. (hehheh. that's going to be difficult. i think i like to worry)

" The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still" Exodus 14:14
when the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with You above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
i will be still know You are God
still - Hillsong

p.s. so to my dear brother who's fretting about coming here next year, dont worry too much. God has the ultimate plan for you. dont give up trusting in that big plan, because you will never really understand what God has in store for you till you experience it yourself. i know you will grow to love perth because i love it here now. dont worry too much, God will provide. okay? (: study hard. love from your da jie

a shout of praise.
11:59 PM